The Ears Have It
by Serena Kenobi
Summary: Uhura has to answer a few questions. What does she see in Spock? And how come she's not with a human man? Humorous oneshot. MAJOR SPOILERS! Spock/Uhura oneshot.


**The Ears Have It**

By **Serena**

**WARNING!: MAJOR MOVIE SPOILERS!**

**A/N:** _So I saw Star Trek yesterday, and when I saw the first Uhura/Spock moment I was like WHAAAAAAAAAT is THAT??? But then I found out that the two of them kind of "flirted", sort of, in the original series, which I've only seen a few episodes of, rather than the whole Voyager series._

_So, now, I love the couple. :D Figures._

**Disclaimer**_: I do not own any aspect of Star Trek. (sobs)  
_

* * *

Uhura sat in the reasonably filled mess hall, reading on the latest reports from the new colony of Vulcan. Although she could never hope to fully heal Spock's wounded heart ever since his mother's tragic death and the destruction of his home, she could at least be there for him and offer him comfort and support. It was the least she could do for someone who had taught her so much.

"Hello, there," said an unpleasantly familiar voice.

Uhura didn't bother to look up. "Hello," she said coolly.

"Is this seat taken?"

It wasn't. "Yes," Uhura said, still not looking up.

"Doesn't look like it."

Uhura lifted up her legs and slipped them on the seat facing her. Then, she scrolled down in the report and stirred her soup around in its bowl, determined not to engage the irritating Ensign who'd been watching her ever since he tried to "rescue" her from Kirk in the bar not too long ago.

And then, of course, everyone found about her relationship with a certain Vulcan first-mate. The whispers didn't stop – Vulcans and humans so rarely had romantic relationships. One very famous exception to that rule was, funnily enough, Spock's parents.

Uhura didn't care he was Vulcan. She loved him anyway. If everyone else wanted to spend their time gossiping about it, then that was their problem. She had better things to do with her time.

But the next moment, the chair fell out from under her legs, and the irritating Ensign took a seat across from her. Unfortunately, the table was small, so he wasn't very far away, especially when he leaned closer.

"Now it's not," he said with a smirk.

Uhura took a sip of her soup, still not looking at him. "What do you want, Ensign Bard?"

"Just to talk to a beautiful lady," he said with a grin. "Mind if I join?"

"Yes," she said shortly. "I'm busy, Ensign."

Bard scowled. "You'll make time for that emotionless elf and ignore _me?_"

"It sure looks that way."

Bard leaned closer and growled, "You don't know what you're missing, girl. Bet you've never felt a _real man_'s touch. What's a _Vulcan _know about passion? Fire? C'mon, admit it – you need a real good time."

"I'm sure I don't."

Bard's mouth curled into a snarl as he bent even closer to her. "You saying no to me, huh?"

"Absolutely."

"Do you know what you're saying?" he demanded angrily.

"Definitely."

"You're really gonna go for that _Vulcan?_"

"Certainly."

"What's he got that I don't?"

"A brain," she said shortly.

"Is there a problem, Lieutenant?"

Bard's head whirled up to face the newcomer; and Uhura had to desperately hold back a grin.

_Pretend you're a Vulcan, pretend you're a Vulcan, no emotions_, she chanted to keep the smile off her face. Still, she didn't look up, though, choosing to keep her gaze locked on the piece of info on her datapad… the piece she'd been reading for the last five minutes.

Bard's face twisted into a sneer. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the lucky man himself. Come to defend your _girl?_"

Commander Spock looked from him to Uhura and back. "I am not sure to what you are referring, Ensign," he said calmly, both hands folded behind his back.

"I'm sure you don't," growled Bard, glaring evilly up at him.

"Are you bothering Lieutenant Uhura?" demanded Spock coolly, fixing the man with a scrutinizing gaze that would intimidate most people.

"'Course not," Bard scoffed. "I was just askin' the lady to dinner."

Spock raised a dark eyebrow. Uhura loved it when he did that. "Indeed."

"That's right," snapped Bard, completely disregarding the fact that Spock was his commanding officer.

"And I," Uhura said, unruffled, "was just about to refuse and tell this gentleman to leave."

Now Bard switched his glare to her. "I don't have to put up with your crap," he snarled, rising to his feet.

But Uhura suddenly lunged up and lashed out with a vicious punch that sent the man stumbling back onto the floor. He rolled over, unconscious. Uhura, chest heaving, flexed her hand, glanced around at the mess hall as everyone stared at the scene (and Uhura suspected they'd been doing so ever since Spock had arrived), and straightened her uniform, retaking her seat calmly. She didn't look at Spock.

The Commander of the _Enterprise _moved forward to observe the unconscious man. "Interesting choice of action," Spock said, eyeing the man critically. "It was unethical." He glanced at Uhura, and she thought she saw a hint of a smile on his face. "But quite effective."

He replaced Bard in the seat across from Uhura and placed both hands on the table. "Do you mind if I join you, Lieutenant?"

Uhura smiled and looked up at him. "Not at all, Commander."

* * *

"Hey, Uhura!"

Uhura turned to see Captain Kirk jogging up to her as she walked down the corridor. He smiled and motioned to the hallway before them. "Mind if I join?"

"Sure, Captain," she replied with a pleasant smile. "I was just on my way to the Bridge."

"Oh, good. Me too," he said hastily, and matched her stride as she continued her walk. After a moment of awkward silence, he said, rubbing his hands together, "So, uh, mind if I pose a personal question?"

"Depends on how personal," she said dryly. "First it's my name. Then my last name. Then my first name. Want to know my middle name, too?" She quirked an eyebrow and shot him a grin.

He grinned good-naturedly in return. "I know when I've been beaten, believe me," he told her. "But don't worry. I don't think of you in… that way anymore."

"Sure you do," she scoffed.

"Fine," he amended with a shrug, "I do. But after that little…" He cleared his throat, "ahem, _display _of affection in the transporter room, clearly, you've got someone else in mind. Which brings me to that question."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah. About you and Spock… _how _the heck did _that _happen?"

Uhura shrugged. "I don't know."

"Yes, you do," Kirk insisted. "Women always know what happened. It's us who never pay attention to detail. C'mon, spill."

"What, are we going to be girl gossip buddies now?" Uhura asked with a smirk. When he let out a frustrated sigh, she laughed. "No, it's not very complicated. I was a student of his…"

"Oh, I get it," Kirk interrupted slyly. "The whole professor-student relationship… forbidden love and all that."

She shot him a glare. "You're such pervert, Captain."

"Hey," he said, putting up his hands in self-defense, "I call it like I see it."

"It's not like that. It was never like that," she said sharply. "We respected each other. Admired each other's talents. We became… friends. And for me, respect and admiration grew more sincere, and then…" She shrugged again. "Well, I love him."

"Aw, sweet story," Kirk said with a smile. When Uhura glared at him again, he shook his head. "I'm just kidding. Hey, the poor guy needs all the friends he can get right now. Just lost his mom, not to mention his whole _planet… _I think you're good for each other."

"Does this mean I have your blessing?" Uhura gasped mockingly, putting a hand on her heart dramatically.

"Captain's official blessing," Kirk chuckled, giving her a small salute. "But honestly," he added with a grin, "I don't get what you see in him. I really don't. What made you go for him?"

Uhura smiled. "That's easy, Captain." As she brushed past him, she said airily, "It was the ears, of course."

Kirk stared after her a moment before shaking his head and bursting into laughter. Uhura grinned.

* * *

- _**THE END**_ -

* * *

_Short and sweet. As I started writing this, I thought it would turn out into an angsty one-shot, but I suppose I could always save that for another fic. :) I hope you enjoyed it. :)_

_- **Serena**_


End file.
